Thursday, April 02, 2009

Winter causes me to suffer bouts of vicious impatience. It flares up while I'm trying to enjoy Dollhouse. Not while I'm watching it, mind, just after I've finished and I'm thinking about the episode.

The largest allergic reaction to patience this winter has been SHARDS. I'm not quite sure why. It isn't taking longer to write than FRAGMENTS. I'm just impatient. I wish it was finished, but I'm also a perfectionist with this inability to give something that I don't feel is as ready as it can be to my agent. (Poor M. I've been teasing her with this manuscript for months now.)

But this is how I know I love what I do... at 2:15 pm today, when I reached chapter nineteen AKA past that bloody middle part of the book that has been so damn hard to write each draft, I cheered and went "TAKE THAT, SHARDS."

Then promptly realized it was 2:15 pm and I wasn't dressed.

Writing is magic, you see. It vanquishes the power of time—or at least our ability to perceive it passing. You know how? Because we are doing what makes us happy. What we love to do—even when we tell people how much we wish we were finished doing it.

Because if I wasn't redrafting SHARDS, I'd still be writing something. The impatience is that eagerness to get to that next thing. To put the time and energy in discovering what makes it good and then the time and energy it takes to make it better.

You never stop writing. You're never finished. You can either use that as an excuse and a crutch, or you can realize it's what will keep you going.

Your choice.

5 comments:

Sarah K said...

I've been working on reminding myself that I love writing [or at least used to love writing, and why].

I've got not even five hundred words down in my little .doc file, but I'm excited that I have a little .doc file.

Sarah K said...

Also: glad to hear that you have made it past the point that you have been finding difficult. That's got feel good and triumphant.

Chandra Rooney said...

I'm excited you have a little .doc file, too!

relliott4 said...

I completely get this post. In fact, I recently blogged about wishing this book was done, but the writing part can be a trip, eh?

Frustrating and then exhilerating!

I did the same thing today. Got up ridiculously early, got kids to school and started working about seven fifteen. Looked up and it was noon and I was in clothes and smudged makeup from yesterday since I um, wrote until I was exhausted last night and fell into bed late.

I need to eat some vegetables or something today. heh heh

Chandra Rooney said...

Veggies?! Rinda, dear, you need more caffeine. ;)

Here's hoping you see the light at the end of the tunnel.