Monday, May 03, 2010

Victory of the Daleks

I'm unconvinced that I even liked this episode, so I'm probably just going to mock it. Ready?

This was the episode that was all about the New!Shiny! Daleks. The twist was that they gave us a whole bunch of New!Shiny! Daleks. My personal favorites were the Ironsides... because they were incredibly creepy with their shouty servitude and tea bringing.

You should not allow Daleks to serve you tea.

The most awesome thing about these special edition Daleks: The Ironsides have POCKETS AROUND THEIR NECKS. Who are those pockets for? Not the Ironsides—their little plunger arms can't open a snap that's on the other side of their bodies. Is it where they keep their tea that they're so happy to make for the allied forces?

Again, completely with 11 on his decision. Daleks should be hit with things. Giant Iron Wrenches are a good choice, but I still think a large mallet would have been more satisfying—and have absorbed the impact shock.

I couldn't find a picture of the New!Shiny!Daleks, so just pretend this picture of iPod Nanos are them. They're totally similar: shiny brightly-colored plastic ready to seriously rock out to some Ke$ha while obliterating all other MP3 players.

I recommend as you look at the photo you say in a Dalek voice: WE ARE HERE TO PLAY YOU MUSIC. YOU WILL ENJOY OR YOU WILL BE DISINTEGRATED. That way you can feel like you're watching the episode with me.

Welcome the new Dalek Color-Coded Death Paradigm, which is not nearly as entertaining as Daleks in pointy pope hats.

My last complaint about this episode? Thanks to Mark Gatiss—whose episodes have never really been my cup of Dalek-served tea—I am now scared of eating Peek Freans Fruit Creme cookies. Yes, it might be a cookie, but what if it's actually a TARDIS self-destruction device that just looks like a cookie? How could I live with myself if I caused the TARDIS to self-destruct because I could only find old lady cookies to have with my Dalek-served tea?

To sum up, the only thing in this episode that actually matters: Why doesn't Amy remember the rather unforgettable events of series four?


Sarah K said...

Concern for Amy and her absent mindyness about planet shuffling is happening on my end too.

I could have gotten behind this episode if it weren't for the Dalek armour-lift. I'm not convinced there's any good reason to have updated their image.

Also, in addition to pockets their little plunger arms can't open, how do they make the tea they serve? How do they place the teacup and saucer on the little platter?


Picture Daleks singing "I'm a little teapot" in their creepy shouty Dalek voices. It's just made me feel so much better!

Chandra Rooney said...

I'm working out how they'd do the actions. Would they just wave their little plunger arms and spin around? Or would they levitate and tip over?

Sarah K said...

I'm not entirely certain, but I am now imagining defeating Daleks by placing tea-cozies on them.

That'll show 'em.

JQ said...

I just finished watching this episode, and can't wait to catch up! I loved your commentary. It made everything better. :)

Now I totally need to make a tea cozy that looks like a Dalek.

I found an image:

Sarah K said...

I thought that would be a Dalek tea-cozy! SADNESS

Anonymous said...

How can planes go into space?

Seriously. They wouldn't make it through the atmosphere. Let alone be able to take on an alien and get maneuverability in space. There is no wind in space. So what propels them?

I hated the new Dalek. They are way to shiny and not one "exterminate!"