Thursday, August 09, 2012

I can't think of anything clever to call this post because I had about four hours of sleep last night due to insomnia. When I go to BC within a day, it's I'm home and everything is the time that it's supposed to be and there's no questioning it internally. I return to T.O. and I spent a week not knowing what time it is and my internal clock refusing to reset.

I had insomnia for a week after I visited home in April, too. It's apparently a thing. It's also a tiny whispering thing that likes to pontificate that one day I may go and just not come back.

A friend proposed that I join her in a pledge to write 500 words a day, and since she's the same friend who knows exactly how many words I've been writing a day for the past year, I've decided that she can probably hold me accountable.

New Words: 2281
Total: 2281
The doubt: I shouldn't be writing the thing that just vomited a chapter onto my screen. There are at least three other things I should be writing before it. One of them is even fully outlined.
But I wrote this anyway:

“No. Other people don’t make your dreams happen. You might be the focus, but it’s all intrinsic motivation.” I might’ve given him a dirty look. He grinned. “Come on, Hipster, you’re too smart to think your shiny feelings made this happen.”

New Words: 1204
Total: 3487
The doubt: I forgot how to write this character's voice.
But I wrote this anyway:  If I were someone he’d created, I couldn’t be shapeless and unknown. He’d have made me specific, purposeful.

New Words: 0
Total: 3487
What happened: It didn't occur to me as I lay staring at the ceiling until nearly 3 AM that I could've been doing something other than staring at the ceiling.

And none of this counts towards my 500 words tonight, so I leave you with two songs that are on heavy repeat for this thing.

EDIT 10:14 pm

New words: 592
Total: 4081
The doubt: I am so, so tired. This is not the character's voice at all. I will probably end up throwing all these words out.
But I wrote this anyway: The figure moves a row closer. Shuffling the clumsy creep of something with bones and blood and weight.

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